Mitt Romney has ever been the sanest motherfucker on a stage: Michele Bachmann

If you watched last night’s insipid GOP debate in New Hampshire, you probably knew what you were gonna see going in: a bunch of rich white people (and the Godfather’s Pizza guy) patting each other on the back, taking potshots at the President, and pulling glittering hypotheticals about the economy, healthcare, and even the space program. The event also marked the first time in his life that Mitt Romney has ever been the sanest motherfucker on a stage.

But amidst the drunken, patriotic circle jerk, you may have heard a shrill chirping emanating from somewhere behind one participant’s hollow, glassy eyes and puppety mouth-hole. If you thought it was some Lovecraftian sprite, chattering in a fell tongue understood only by those who have bathed in madness, you’re pretty close: It was actually insane Minnesota congresswoman Michele Bachmann announcing her candidacy for President of the United States in the 2012 election.

Although she said on The Early Show this morning that she would be “making a formal announcement soon,” it seems like saying that you’re running for President on CNN and then again on CBS 12 hours later is pretty formal, and one could distinctly hear the rattling of chains and the crumbling of tombstones as she spoke.

Between T-Paw’s movie trailers and Mee-Baw’s general horror-show way of being, Minnesotans will have plenty of opportunities to be mortified this campaign season. But we’ll cope with it the way we always do: with shrugs and creative, campaign-themed drinking games.